Bitch Please, Every Excuse in the Book

Bitch Please, Every Excuse in the Book

So before you go getting your panties all in a bunch, and get on some feminist high horse, let it be known that I have nothing but the utmost love, adoration, and respect for women as a sex. And just as my own personal disclaimer I use the word “Bitch” with nothing but love and humor, not in derogatory sense. If you are indeed offended, even in the use of the word in humorous context by a sister trying to get you to wake up, using the word “Bitch”, please stop reading now.

So let’s get real and hold ourselves accountable for the real reasons you are not losing weight and getting results you want. As a trainer I hear excuses all day, all night, and even on weekends. It’s like as children we were taught to make an excuse for everything, or if something isn’t going our way, or the way we had envisioned, suddenly there must be an excuse as to why. So here we go with just a few.

I work out at least three days a week, but I’m still not losing any weight.

Bitch please! Just because you walk into a gym three days a week, and walk on a treadmill, and walk around looking at weight machines for 30-45 min before you really feel as though you’ve “gotten it in” and leave does not mean you have adequately worked out. Especially if you are trying to see real results and fit into those jeans from 5 years ago that you just can’t seem to bring yourself to take to the Goodwill because they “are going to fit again”. In reality, they are only going to fit again in this lifetime if you make some serious changes and put in some serious work.

Maybe I have a thyroid problem.

Bitch please! Or maybe, you have an “I really like to eat pizza, macaroni and cheese, or Tacos on Tuesdays” problem. When you walk in to that gym, have you ever taken a minute to look around you at the ripped people who inhabit such facilities? News flash…they are in there truly GETTING IT five plus days a week, rain or shine, whether they feel like it or not, and yes, even on weekends and holidays, and they have a very regimented diet to match.

I don’t have time to work out.

Bitch please! You mean you don’t really have a super desire so you make an excuse as to the kids having sports, you having to cook dinner for the family, extra work at the office, etc., etc., yadda, yadda, yadda. Yes, these things are all a part of daily life, and as an incredibly busy single mother myself, my day is seemingly never done. But with a little pre planning, it is possible. Make dinners for the whole week, so all you have to do is stick it in the oven. Or, hey, here’s a thought, maybe that two hours you spend watching t.v. with your husband before you fall asleep, some of that time could be spent working out. Or, hey, here’s a thought, why don’t you try getting up and hour earlier, so you can do it and get it out of the way for the day? (Shrieking… I know… anything but that)

I walk every night.

Ok, not trying to get down on the fact that you truly are making time to do something, but news flash, walking is only really adequate exercise for pregnant women and those with disabilities or recovering from surgery. In order to truly be doing enough to see results, you need your heart rate elevated for a MINIMUM of 15 minutes at a time. So, are you walking up a mountain? Are you doing walking and running intervals until sweat is pouring from your face and you feel like your lungs may give out? By walking do you mean through water for resistance, or with 20 lb ankle weights? No? Ok, than chances are good, you’re walking around the block a few times, although better than nothing, and good for digestion, is not doing enough to see results to get back into those jeans.

I eat really healthy.

Bitch please! Let’s define your version of the word healthy. I bet you didn’t know when you don’t eat all day at the office, and then chow down on dinner, your metabolism has been at a standstill all day and then is suddenly overloaded with food it then can’t burn off. Or those carrot sticks and celery you had for lunch, yes, I give you props you are trying, but you just cancelled them out with the amount of Ranch dressing you drown them in to get them down. That salad you had at the restaurant with your coworkers… same thing…bacon bits, cheese, and croutons drowned in dressing cancels out the good you are trying to do. Let’s not forget, that Gatorade you just pounded at the end of your “workout”… yeah, the amount of sugar in it just sabotaged what you just did. (Unless you are vomiting profusely, you don’t usually need to replace electrolytes. Water is your best choice).

I have this medical condition, X, Y, and or Z.

Bitch please! You may indeed have a medical condition, but chances are likely exercise is some way, shape or form will make your condition better, your pain less, and give you more energy. You just have to find what works well for YOU without aggravating your condition. There is this beautiful practice called Yoga that is noninvasive, simple stretching, while strengthening your muscles and working on balance. Swimming is fantastic for those with injuries, and preexisting conditions. Even conditions causing debilitating pain can sometimes be over come through exercise. So, the next time you see an athletic amputee, you might want to take a second to reflect on how they never let anything slow them down. Sometimes it’s just as much mental as it is physical.

I really don’t eat much, but I’m still gaining weight.

Bitch please! News flash, you could be under eating causing your body’s metabolism to slow to a hault and hold on to every single calorie and ounce of fat and nutrition it can eek out of the small amount of food you are eating. In order to keep your body burning you have to be feeding it constantly, and no, that doesn’t mean whatever you want. So much food we grab on the go is full of empty calories. And FYI, maybe you didn’t eat throughout the day, but between that grande latte for breakfast, that smoothie for lunch, that coke on your break,  and that beer at happy hour, you consumed enough sugar and calories just in what you drank to last you a week.


These are just a few of the many, many excuses I hear constantly surely along with almost every trainer, at every gym, every where. We have come to terms with the fact the we will always hear excuses because honestly, it’s easier than the latter of actually holding yourself accountable for your actions, your weight, and your lifestyle. Just keep in mind, those around you who really are getting results, changing their bodies, and their mindset, are working hard to do so. Nothing in life that is truly rewarding came easily or without sacrifice. At Wicked Fitness we understand how trying just life in general can be. So, when you are done making excuses we will be right there with open arms to help you on your fitness journey, and with the tools for your success. It’s always easier with a coach in your corner, and Bitch please, you know we’d love to help you reach your goals!